Standard shared custody arrangements are relatively stressful for children. They have to go back and forth between their parents’ homes. They might forget a prized possession at one house and go days without an item that they cherish. They may also have to spend quite a bit of time in motor vehicles traveling back and forth between their parents’ homes. The need to relocate can strain or end their social relationships.
Compared with the disruption of a traditional shared custody arrangement, birdnesting can be far more stable. Parents can keep things predictable and comfortable for their children by embracing this unusual but potentially beneficial shared custody arrangement.
What does birdnesting entail?
A birdnesting custody arrangement takes its name from how birds often raise their young. The parents maintain a nest together, but typically only one adult bird is in the nest with the hatchlings at any given time.
In a birdnesting custody arrangement, the children stay in their primary residence full-time. Parents stay in the family home during their custody time and leave when the other parent has parenting time. The parents are the ones who move between residences; not the children. Both parents make arrangements for housing elsewhere, and the type of housing ranges based on each parents’ specific situation. Some choose to stay with friends or family, others choose to rent smaller, low-cost apartments and others purchase second homes.
How is birdnesting beneficial?
As previously mentioned, birdnesting is beneficial because it reduces travel and constant transitions between households for the children. It can also potentially keep costs lower, as the parents do not have to pay as much for their separate living arrangements. They can combine their resources to maintain the family home, which can help keep the children in the same school district.
When done properly, birdnesting custody arrangements are low-stress and cost-effective. However, parents generally need to have excellent boundaries and communication skills. They need to commit to specific rules regarding what they do during their parenting time and how they divide responsibility for the family home.
Those considering a birdnesting custody arrangement may need help negotiating with their spouses, and that’s okay. Considering every potential solution for shared child custody can help parents choose options that benefit their children and work well for the entire family.