Many parents think that their marriage should last until their children are old enough to leave the house. In theory, parents hope that staying together will benefit their children’s growth — or, at least, avoid unnecessary upsets and stress on developing minds.
For some parents, waiting until later to get a divorce may mean waiting for their children to go to college or find a job. But, rent costs have skyrocketed in the last few years. This means that many children are commuting to college from their parents’ homes, which may mean it will be much longer before they leave their homes. And, some young adults aren’t finding jobs that pay a living salary.
However, this good intent may be misplaced. Children are highly aware of the conflicts their parents’ experience. Parents that are distant or constantly fight may cause their children to develop reserved and unhealthy habits.
Is divorce the best option for you and your children?
Divorce will by no means be easy for you and your children. There’s a lot that’s likely going to change and your children may need more time to adjust. But, these troubled times will likely pass. Your divorce could even help your children’s development.
For example, as you and your children experience your divorce, they may have more empathy for people experiencing similar events in their lives. You’ll also be an example of how to handle difficult situations such as a divorce, which your children can use in the future. You’ll also be demonstrating what a healthy relationship looks like, along with good boundary setting, and showing that your children don’t have to stay in a relationship that makes them unhappy. That’s a valuable lesson.
You and your ex may also find that you make better co-parents than you did spouses. Once your focus shifts from your relationship with each other to the children, you may find that you’re better able to work together for common goals and that you each have more energy to devote to the kids (regardless of their ages).
As a parent, you want to do what’s best for your children. It’s not always easy to know what the right decision is. You may need to reach out for legal help to know your options for divorce.